For modern couples, evening routines often run on autopilot: get home from work, tackle chores, eat dinner, clean, and then collapse on the couch to watch a movie or show together.
There’s nothing wrong with that. There is a reason why comfort shows are comforting. But as a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve noticed that many couples are hungry for quality time together, and weekends often feel like their only real opportunity to connect.
Here’s what the happiest couples do together at night instead of watching TV, and why these habits can strengthen your relationship without completely reinventing your habits.
1. Short walks or hikes
One of the easiest alternatives to spending an evening in front of the TV is to take a walk together. You can spend the same amount of time walking as watching a show or movie, while still getting some fresh air and exercise.
Not only is it great exercise, but it’s also a way to reduce stress and support your overall health. Research shows that when couples take a leisurely walk outdoors, it can promote social interaction and bonding.
Without screens competing for your attention, it’s easier to be physically and emotionally present to each other.
2. Cook or bake together
Cooking together turns everyday items into something fun and collaborative. Bonus points if it’s a recipe neither of you have tried.
I also always liked the idea of bonding over learning and sometimes making a mess together in the kitchen. Research shows that preparing meals together naturally fosters teamwork and trust, while also providing opportunities for physical contact and collaboration that can often be forgotten in the hectic pace of daily life.
Even better, unlike passively watching a show, cooking requires partners to engage with each other and work toward a common goal.
3. 2 player game
Not all meaningful activities need to be serious. Sometimes couples need to laugh together. Whether it’s cards, board games, puzzles, or video games, two-player games satisfy the same entertainment cravings as television while offering far more interaction.
Games also create shared emotional experiences. It involves teasing, competition, strategy, and spontaneity, all things that help couples break free from the feeling of autopilot that long-term relationships can sometimes fall into.
This is especially great for couples who enjoy a bit of cheeky competition. If you and your partner don’t feel bad about losing a match and can laugh together in the process, that’s a good sign that your relationship is healthy.
4. Virtual (or in-person) dance lessons
If you’re doing it at home, all you need is the same screen you normally use to watch TV and a little free space. Alternatively, you can sign up for a couple’s class at a local studio.
Dance is already established as a great form of exercise. But for couples, it also brings a rhythm of sharing, physical intimacy, and novelty. Research suggests that the “harmonious passion” involved in dance, or enjoying an activity purely for the sake of enjoyment rather than perfection, is positively associated with relationship satisfaction.
Most importantly, dancing encourages couples to be playful together again. At the end of a long day, you can flirt and do things together instead of just existing next to each other.
5. Arts and crafts
You can be as creative as you like about this. Coloring books, watercolors, clay, Play-Doh, knitting, crocheting, sketching – the goal is simply to create something together.
Arts and Crafts gives couples permission to be imperfect, which is surprisingly rare for adults. Also, for people who don’t often have the opportunity to show off their creative sides, this can be a way to see new sides of each other emerge.
Considering that so much of adult life revolves around productivity and routine, a little childlike wonder can go a long way.
Dr. Mark Travers is a psychologist specializing in human relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telemedicine company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website Therapytips.org.
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