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Home » The number one tip I always give to building unwavering confidence: Therapist.
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The number one tip I always give to building unwavering confidence: Therapist.

adminBy adminJune 21, 2026No Comments5 Mins Read
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When Beyoncé took the stage early in her career, she didn’t do it as Beyoncé. She became “Sasha Fierce,” an alter ego she created to deal with her nerves. The strategy behind it also works for the rest of us.

As a therapist for nearly 25 years and author of The Mental Strength Playbook, I’ve seen smart, capable people suffocate under pressure. Even if I memorize the script, I still stumble on sales calls. Or you may have the best idea in the group, but remain silent in the meeting.

No matter how talented and prepared you are, self-doubt can hold you back. I teach my clients to channel their alter egos because it is one of the quickest ways to overcome them and perform at your best.

What your alter ego actually does for you

When self-doubt takes over your brain, you start thinking of all the things that could go wrong, distracting you from the task at hand.

Your first reaction may be to tell yourself how nervous you are. But that often backfires and makes it even harder to concentrate on the game. Channeling your alter ego instead is like stepping into the mindset of a non-nervous person.

Beyoncé said in a 2008 interview, “It’s like when you shoot a movie, you get into that character and you put on a wig and you put on clothes and you walk differently.”

Although Beyoncé said years later that she retired Sasha Fierce as her alter ego, there was a time when her alter ego would appear every time she performed. Beyoncé told Oprah, “It’s usually when I hear the crowd, when I put on stilettos, when I’m about to get nervous.” “Then Sasha Fierce came along and changed my attitude and the way I spoke and everything.”

Other artists and athletes, such as Adele and the late Kobe Bryant, have also talked about creating alter egos to perform at their best.

The science behind alter egos

Channeling your alter ego is based on a psychological strategy called self-distancing. When you take on someone else’s persona, you create space between yourself and your anxious thoughts. Brain activity shifts from areas that drive emotional responses to the prefrontal cortex, which controls logical thinking.

In one study testing this idea with children, researchers gave 4- and 6-year-olds a boring task to complete and an iPad to play with whenever they wanted to quit the task. One group was asked to ask themselves, “Am I working hard?” when trying to complete a task. Another group was asked to use their own names, as in “Is Hannah doing well?” And the third group could choose a character like Batman and asked, “Does Batman work hard?”

Kids who channeled their favorite fictional characters lasted the longest. The more they stepped outside of themselves, the more grit they showed.

How to channel your alter ego

If you want to look more confident during presentations, ask for a raise, or have the courage to talk to strangers, here’s how.

1. Select a persona

Your alter ego could be a real person you admire, a fictional character, or even yourself on your best day.

Think of someone who has the right qualities and energy for the situation. If you want to be bold, why not use Serena Williams? If you need someone who is calm and kind under pressure, it might be Mr. Rogers.

2. Create a physical anchor

This strategy becomes even more powerful when you attach your alter ego to a physical anchor like clothing, whether it’s a watch that makes you feel like James Bond or red boots that remind you of Wonder Woman. The meaning you attach to the object plays a role.

Therefore, find small things that represent your alter ego, such as jewelry, socks, a particular sweater. Put this on before you find yourself in a high-stakes situation and shift your brain to their mindset.

3. Learn and embody your alter ego

Ask yourself, “What would my alter ego do in this situation?” Notice how they stand. how do they speak? Then do those things.

One warning: If you feel like you’re impersonating someone by channeling your alter ego, you’ve gone too far. The goal is not to feel completely lost, but rather to enhance the qualities of yourself that are often buried by self-doubt.

If you’re concerned about how stress management is affecting your health, talk to a mental health professional.

4. Start small

Don’t wait for a high-pressure situation to try this strategy. Practice when the risk is low. Test it during a team meeting before trying it in a large all-hands meeting. With practice, you’ll learn how to fine-tune this play to make it work best for you.

Then you can think of it as a secret trick to putting your most confident self forward when you need it most.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker, and host of the podcast Mentally Stronger. She is the author of several books, including “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.” Her TEDx talk, “The Secret to Being Mentally Strong,” is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn.

Do you want to get ahead at work? Next, you need to learn how to make effective small talk. In CNBC’s new online course, “How to Talk to People at Work,” expert instructors share practical strategies for using everyday conversations to increase visibility, build meaningful relationships, and accelerate career growth. Sign up now!

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