Rosalyn Engelman was just 15 years old when she met her future husband, Irwin. That was in 1953.
They were arranged by a mutual friend, and when Irwin, then 19, came to pick her up at her parents’ home in the Bronx, “I certainly had never dated anyone like the tall, dark, handsome man in a navy blue suit and carrying a briefcase who showed up at my door,” she says.
“He was like a movie star.” Irwin took her out to the movies and milkshakes, and by the end of the night, she says, they were in love. After dating for three years, the two married in November 1956.
In their nearly 70 years together, they have had two daughters, overcome life-threatening illnesses together, traveled the world, and built careers. Irwin works as a CFO at companies such as Xerox, and Engelman is a painter and mixed media artist whose work has been exhibited around the world, she said.
They currently live in Apsley, an assisted living facility in Manhattan.
For couples looking for tips on how to stay happily together for decades, Engelman’s advice is:
“Try to understand the other person”
For Engelman, it really comes down to one piece of advice. “Try to understand the other person,” she says.
It affects us in many ways.
For example, if your spouse sometimes puts their work first, try putting yourself in their shoes. “I never begrudged him the hard hours he worked,” she says. “I don’t think he resented me for getting covered in paint.”
Try to take an interest in the other person’s hobbies as well. “He liked opera more, and I started liking opera more,” she says. “I like classical music the most. He has grown to love classical music.”
Rosalyn and Erwin Engelman as a young couple.
Provided by: Rosalyn Engelman
Finally, understanding each other also means forgiving each other when unfortunate events occur, both big and small. Engelman remembers the first time he tried to make dinner for them. She decided on Brussels sprouts, hot dogs, and corn. And dinner didn’t go as planned. The Brussels sprouts tasted like rubber, she says.
Erwin wasn’t angry. Instead, “we started laughing and went out for pizza,” she says. This kind of mutual understanding can keep relationships strong.
Want to improve your communication, confidence, and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Mastering Body Language for Influence.
