Brenne Brown’s ninth book, “Strong Ground: Lessons of Bold Leadership, Persistence of Paradoxes, and Wisdom of the Human Mind,” was published last month.
The University of Houston research professor, podcaster and bestseller author recently participated in the New York Times podcast “Interview” where he discussed various topics in the book, including courageous leadership and discipline.
With the theme of communication, journalist Lulu Garcia Navarro asked Brown a candid question. “Why do you think we smoke it?
“We don’t teach people how to communicate very well,” Brown replied.
“Good communication is vulnerable,” she said. “That’s difficult. If you want to communicate well, you have to be tolerant of discomfort. And it’s at every level of the organization, at every level of the family. That doesn’t matter.”
Effective communication is clear and “using the right words to explain what we want to do, what we mean, what we need,” Brown said. It’s about calling someone, not texting.
“The tone is lost in the text,” Brown said.
And when you say something that confuses someone, it’s about taking accountability. “Movingly, no one is teaching you how to do that,” she said.
Use these three phrases to navigate conflicts and communicate better
Experts agree that we can all learn to communicate better. It involves taking accountability, specifically, keeping you cool during difficult conversations can be difficult. If you encounter a conflict, try using the following phrase:
“The most important thing for you in this situation…” This is the phrase that career coach Phoebe Gavin said previously she recommended to use on CNBC. Alison Wood Brooks, an associate professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, helps to show what you’re listening to, to paraphrase the main points of someone’s argument. This phrase helps you guide empathy if the person you are talking to appears particularly upsetting, “I want to make sure I understand,” suggests multiple experts. In conflict, examining the emotions and perspectives of others is key. This phrase helps you do just that.
Try to keep these phrases in mind when you’re having a difficult conversation. “I don’t think communication was more important than it is now,” Brown said.
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