The hashtag “high mountain divorce” has exploded on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram in recent months, with many women sharing their traumatic and sometimes life-threatening experiences.
The term is used to describe an event during a hike or other outdoor adventure in which one partner, usually a man, abandons the other, usually inexperienced and vulnerable, in a secluded and potentially dangerous environment.
One of the conversation starters was a high-profile incident in Austria earlier this year. In the case, the climber was found guilty of manslaughter and given a suspended sentence after claiming he left his girlfriend alone on the Grossglockner, the country’s highest peak, to seek help. she froze to death.
Prosecutors accused the man, named Thomas P., of failing to respond to calls from rescue services despite having a telephone signal and failing to send a distress signal in time. Germany’s Bild newspaper reported that her ex-lover testified during the trial that he left her on the same mountain in 2023 because he thought she had moved too late. He tended to “get grumpy” when she was struggling while hiking, she told the court during her testimony.
During the trial, women were sharing their personal stories online. “POV: You go hiking in the mountains with your boyfriend, he leaves you alone, and you realize he never liked you to begin with,” a woman posted on TikTok in a clip that showed her walking alone on a remote mountain trail and has been viewed almost 5 million times.
Another woman shared a video of herself walking alone in the wilderness in a post to This clip has been viewed 1.9 million times.
“Alpine divorce” is a term coined by Scottish-Canadian author Robert Barr in an 1893 short story about a husband who plots to murder his wife in the Swiss Alps, and is not a legally or officially recognized term. But behavioral psychologist and relationship coach Joe Hemmings told CNN that the relationship dynamics behind it are identifiable.
According to Hemmings, perpetrators often have an avoidant attachment style, which means that when they experience stress, they emotionally and physically distance themselves from others rather than addressing the cause.
“They tend to lack empathy and compassion, avoid conflict, and prefer to exclude themselves,” she says. “I see this kind of behavior all the time in my counseling room, where men with partners, most often women, back down during questioning, walk out of the room, or even give up on counseling altogether.”
While “high-altitude divorce” may not be a common experience, Hemmings believes the underlying concept is familiar to many women. “Not because of the mountain environment, but because emotional withdrawal and even abandonment in relationships is relatively common.”
However, mountainous areas add another dimension to this behavior pattern, making it potentially dangerous. In such outdoor activities, a hierarchy is immediately formed. Who will lead, who will navigate, and who will set the pace?
“Getting ahead of the curve and refusing to adapt can be a subtle way of asserting authority and control,” Hemmings said.
Although most often referring to a romantic partner, the term is usually applied when a woman is abandoned by other male figures she thought she could trust, such as her father, siblings, other family members or friends.
Laurie Singer, an avid hiker from California, felt betrayed by a longtime male friend when she became ill during a weeks-long hike and feared for her life.
In 2016, at age 56, Singer said she and a close male friend and fellow hiker set out on the John Muir Trail in California’s Sierra Nevada Mountains. The trail actually spans 222 miles (357 kilometers) and takes the average hiker two to three weeks to complete.
According to Singer, he had done this trek before and was more experienced than her, especially at high altitudes, and “talked her into it”. The two agreed to hike 20 miles a day, and the friend said he would arrange for the food they needed.
Just a few days into the expedition, Singer, who describes himself as an “ultra athlete,” started feeling sick and later realized it was altitude sickness. Despite this, her friend did not slow down.
“He kept going ahead of me, but I couldn’t keep up with him because of altitude sickness,” she told CNN.
“For example, one night we were hiking into the night and he was so far ahead of me that I was so scared…I was screaming his name…I couldn’t hear anything.”
About an hour after they parted ways, Singer finally caught up with her hiking partner, who told her he was trying to see if she could make it.
As the couple continued to live together over the next few days, Singer realized he wasn’t giving them enough food. She said the man was trying to lose weight while hiking, but didn’t tell her about it before leaving. “By that time, I was already using safety pins just to keep my shorts on.”
Singer, who pushed through to complete more than 250 miles of trail, said he woke up one morning and realized something was seriously wrong with him and he could barely walk.
She said her friend suggested they split up and she walked back to her starting point to seek help while he continued to the end of the planned route. She said he only ate energy bars and sent her away, and also unloaded trash into her bag, saying it would make her pack lighter.
“We didn’t know how long the trail would be, but we knew we needed help.”
The singer started walking alone on the rocky path, but struggled to keep his balance. She didn’t know it yet, but due to altitude sickness, she was suffering from infected blisters as well as brain swelling. She realized that her life was in danger, and the dominant thought was that she did not want to die alone in the wilderness. “I was so hungry…all I could think about was wanting to see my family again.”
After about eight miles, on a route where no other hikers were supposed to be, she encountered other hikers who noticed she was on a rough trail and offered her food and directions. She was eventually able to hitchhike back to safety, but her recovery took several weeks.
Looking back on the ordeal, she said: “I didn’t realize how much I should have been involved in the planning process, but in a way he took on the role of a kind of Sherpa leader, which he wasn’t really. He just distanced himself from the people. Who would do something like that?”
In terms of possible motives, a “mountain divorce” can range from a premeditated act of malice to an impulsive decision on the spur of the moment.
If a victim is intentionally lured into a potentially dangerous environment and then abandoned, the perpetrator may have a personality disorder, Hemmings said.
She believes that in most cases abandonment is spontaneous, triggered by impatience, lack of control or empathy.
After overcoming a traumatic ordeal, Singer’s advice is clear. “No matter how much you think you know the people you’re[hiking with]you always have to be independent.”
“I trusted (my friend)…I thought I knew (him), but apparently I didn’t.”
