According to a 2025 Forbes Health study, 78% of people report that dating apps make them feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted at least sometimes, if not often or always.
“Many people experience app fatigue,” says relationship coach Amy Chan.
Chan has been coaching singles and leading dating workshops for years. Her latest book, Unsingle, offers strategies for building lasting relationships.
If you’re ready to leave dating apps yourself, here’s what Chan recommends as a way to meet people instead.
Work based on common interests
Especially now that summer is here and the sun is beckoning you outside, let your interests guide you and participate in activities you already know you love, Chan says.
Whether it’s a running club or a pottery class, you’re bound to meet the same people when you’re there. That in itself can lead to a connection. “There’s something called the mere exposure effect. The more you meet someone, the more you feel mean,” she says.
“Sometimes your brain takes longer to process,” she added. “Is it a romantic connection? Is it a friendship connection?” But by spending that time with someone who is in the same place by default, you realize there’s really something out there, an opportunity that an app can’t present.
“Go where growth-minded people go.”
Chan recommends apps like Meetup and Luma to find local events related to your interests. You can also do a simple Google search to find groups and classes that interest you.
“Retreats are also great,” Chan said, adding, “Go where growth-minded people go. They learn and improve themselves.” There is value in being surrounded by such people.
It may seem counterintuitive to attend these events in the context of your dating life, but when you do, try not to think of them as a way to meet your soulmate. Instead, think of this as a way to make an overall connection and see what happens.
Such an attitude “takes pressure off and makes life enjoyable,” says Chan.
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