Hiking along Poland’s Lower Beskid Mountains, Barbara Olpinski looks up at the peak and sighs with contentment, as if she has finally found her place.
Barbara, a New Jersey native, moved to Europe five years ago with her Polish-born husband, Marian, and has become more active than ever. The couple spends much of their time exploring the country’s trails and old churches.
When I’m not hiking, I often explore by car. They recently managed to cross three countries in one day, heading to Romania for breakfast, stopping in Hungary, then having dinner in Slovakia before returning to Poland.
“There are so many places to visit,” Barbara told CNN Travel. “So, I actively take advantage of getting out and traveling and enjoying the beautiful and beautiful scenery.”
Barbara and Marian married in 2009 and had settled in Chicago until 2020, thinking they would stay there. “I certainly thought I would spend the rest of my life in America,” she says.
Marian, a pediatrician, spent years obtaining her U.S. citizenship and medical certification.
They first connected online and met in person in 2003 after discovering they had a common ancestor through the Ellis Island database’s passenger arrival list.
Marian, who was still in Poland at the time, began traveling to the United States to meet Barbara, who was working in home care. “He took care of the younger children and I took care of the elders,” she says.
In 2008, Marian completed a medical residency at a hospital in St. Louis, where the couple is based, before moving to Chicago in 2011.
Barbara remembers visiting Poland for the first time as a child and being struck by its richness of color. “Growing up in America, all I knew about Poland was old war footage,” she says.
“And I just remember thinking…there are trees like everywhere else. I don’t know if they’re black or white.”
They continued to build a happy life in Chicago while regularly visiting Marian’s family in Poland. After Marian’s mother passed away in 2018, the couple bought a villa in the small village of Wapienne, about two hours east of Krakow.
It was supposed to be a “gathering place” for friends and family, not a permanent home.
However, Marian was experiencing burnout at work and was dealing with health issues. He realized, Barbara says, that he “didn’t want to end his life in Chicago.”
They started reevaluating everything and even considered moving to Ecuador and Costa Rica, where some of their friends had moved.
In the midst of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, as the lease on their Chicago home was coming to an end, they asked themselves what to do next.
“We thought, ‘Oh, we have another house. Let’s go there…'” Barbara recalls. They stored most of their belongings, including their car, in storage and traveled to Poland for what was supposed to be a temporary stay.
That changed quickly. “My husband started getting opportunities,” Barbara says. Marian found herself in demand as a specialist.
“People reached out and said, ‘Hey, we need you…’ It became clear that we needed to be here more.”
A year later, they packed up their house, sold their car, and returned to the United States to commit to Poland full-time.
Barbara, who retired in 2020, found the transition more difficult than her husband. “The biggest hurdle for me was adapting to the culture,” she says.
She found that Poles tend to be “very reserved around strangers” and that her approaches were sometimes rejected.
“If you smile super hard, they think you’re crazy…and being from New Jersey, I’m super super social. I wanted to connect with people.”
Since she spoke little Polish, Barbara tried friendliness as a workaround. Rather, it was about “keeping your distance.”
“I was like, ‘I don’t understand why people don’t respond positively to me being open and happy,'” she recalls. “And they were like, ‘Okay, I don’t know what’s wrong with that woman.'”
She was lonely and often depressed. “I cried a lot of tears,” she says. “It was really hard…’How do I fit in here? Where do I belong?’ It was a big change.”
Looking back, I feel guilty for not being more patient when Marian immigrated to the United States many years ago and was struggling with simple things like American food. “I was like, ‘Buttercup, stop it. It’s like this,'” she jokes.
Things changed when she started walking. “It gave me more opportunities to be out in the community,” she says.
Barbara eventually began volunteering in Poland helping Ukrainian refugees, throwing herself into the challenge of working with displaced women and children.
She is still learning Polish, “a really difficult language,” and struggles with grammar, but is making progress. “I don’t think I’ll ever be fluent, but I’ve learned enough to be kind.”
Having an English speaking friend in the village was very helpful. “She was very kind,” Barbara says. Being able to talk to someone other than her husband and sister-in-law “helped me get through the difficulties.”
Economically, it makes sense to stay in Poland. The couple found that their cost of living was reduced by about 50% and health and dental care became much cheaper.
“We’re getting older,” she says. “These are all big parts of our budget.” Lower costs have allowed him to visit his 12 grandchildren in Ohio, Germany, Portugal and Poland.
“There are challenges for me, but the positives are much better,” she says.
After five years, Barbara feels settled and has developed a deep respect for Polish culture.
“People have a long history here,” she says. “They remember things and preserve things from a long time ago…People love their country. They’re proud of it. And you really feel it.”
Still, she misses the little things she did in Chicago, like chatting with strangers and buying someone a coffee at Starbucks. These actions can sometimes be considered offensive in Poland.
As of this writing, Barbara is preparing for a visit to the United States and is “looking forward to talking to the ladies at Dunkin Donuts.”
But the “tense” political environment during her visit makes her nervous. “I went home thinking, ‘I can’t wait to get home and see everyone,'” she says.
“And you’re going to connect with people that are sometimes awkward and uncomfortable…I feel like everyone’s trying to figure out where they’re going to land.”
Marian said she does not plan to participate this time because she is “a little nervous.”
“We’re flying to Chicago, and there’s a lot of tension there. And he’s like, ‘You know what? Maybe we should stop talking about this.’
She hasn’t ruled out returning to the United States permanently, but it would be difficult to find somewhere affordable and close to her daughter in Ohio. “I think the cost of living and medical care will keep us here,” she says.
“This gives you the flexibility to travel when you need and want to go, without having to pay for housing, medical costs, or other costs associated with living in the United States.”
Adapting to Poland wasn’t easy, but Barbara is grateful for her efforts.
“It wasn’t a walk in the park,” she says. “It was a big change, but a good one. We were able to grow through it, and I’m grateful for that.”
