CNN
—
Airplanes will be crowded. Your patience will be tested. Some degree of deterioration is almost inevitable, especially after the recent shutdown-related disruptions. Add in a seat kicker, a tipsy stranger, or a blissfully barefoot person, and your holiday journey becomes even more difficult.
Six million U.S. travelers are expected to take domestic flights this Thanksgiving, a 2% increase over 2024, according to AAA. The figure could end up being a little lower, the travel group said, as some people looking to fly have made other plans due to recent disruptions.
U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy last week introduced a new “citizen campaign” urging travelers to restore civility to air travel and help keep air workers safe. “Dressing with respect,” saying “please and thank you,” helping others, and making sure children are supervised are elements of a DOT campaign called “The Golden Age of Travel Starts with You.”
For the millions of passengers heading to the airport, everything would go a little more smoothly if all passengers boarded with common courtesy. So CNN Travel spoke to experts about the best approach to airplane etiquette.
Often the missing ingredient is self-awareness. People often get so caught up in their own journey that they forget that there are many other passengers on the plane.
“When I look at it, I always feel surprised because it’s my bag, it’s my overhead bin, it’s my seat, it’s my flight, it’s my layover, and you know, it’s my drink. And when it comes to how people act on the plane, it’s just who I am.”
“And you’re like hundreds,” said Rich Henderson, who has been a flight attendant for 12 years. “You have to be aware of your surroundings and you have to respect the people around you.”
Be polite when greeting the flight attendants. “If you can be comfortable with the first person you meet on the plane, it’ll go a long way,” says etiquette expert and owner of Texas Protocol School Diane Gottsman.
Andrew Henderson, a flight attendant with 22 years of experience, supports that idea.
“It’s polite to say a simple ‘hello’ or ‘thank you’ or acknowledge our presence, and I think that’s part of the etiquette that’s being lost these days with all the noise-cancelling headphones and devices we use. We’re all so busy that we forget that there are humans in this world,” said Andrew Henderson. He is married to Rich Henderson and together they run a website and social media account, Two Guys on a Plain, where they say “sassy comments are free”.
Earphones and noise canceling headphones are a double-edged sword. Great for blocking out the world when it’s bothering you, but not so great for paying attention when it matters.
“As flight attendants, we’re there primarily for safety reasons. You know we often joke, but it’s not really a joke. If there was an emergency, half the people would still be on the plane because they’d have noise-cancelling headphones on, they’d be on their phones, they wouldn’t pay attention to what was going on around them,” Rich Henderson said. “And it’s kind of scary when you think about it.”
Passengers who are immersed in their own world are also more likely to miss out on things like drink service and get annoyed at being skipped.
Andrew Henderson said: “When a cart or flight attendant approaches your row, take off your headphones, look up and acknowledge that they are there. This will save you from a difficult situation in the future.”
But noise-canceling devices, which Gottsman called “a universal sign that I don’t want to be bothered,” are clearly useful. Are your neighbors talking annoyingly? Please put on your headphones.
It’s also a savior when your baby is crying.
So put it in your ear and be gentle.
“I feel like we really need to give traveling parents some reprieve, because we all know it’s not the baby’s fault, and it puts parents in a very uncomfortable situation when they see people rolling their eyes,” Gottsman said. “Just like us, they don’t want their baby to cry.”
But the scenario where children run amok is a different story. Inattentive parents are often listed as the most annoying behavior on airplanes.
“The flip side of that is that parents should be expected to supervise their children just as they would in any other public setting,” Gottsman said. “When you’re at a restaurant, at the grocery store, and of course when you’re on a plane, be aware that they’re kicking the seat in front of you for the safety of your child and for the comfort of your fellow passengers.”
Collisions such as kicking the seat
Kicking the seats is a frequent passenger complaint, and the list of complaints such as hogging the armrests is long.
“I think we all have to be a little kinder to each other. If someone kicks your seat, you have to be an adult and turn around and talk to that person,” Andrew Henderson said.
In situations like this, you need to communicate and resolve the frustration before it happens.
“So if I know I’m the passenger who wants to keep the blinds closed for the entire flight, I’ll turn to the person next to me and say, ‘Does anyone want to open the blinds? That’s my preference,'” he said.
If someone else wants to publish it, there is room for negotiation. Maybe you like it open so you can see outside during takeoff and landing, but otherwise it’s fine if it’s closed.
Travel expert explains ‘implicit rights’ to every seat on a plane
TV presenter and travel expert Samantha Brown takes a more one-sided approach to the window shading issue. “The decision is made by the person sitting in the window seat.”
“If you want the shades up, leave them up. The person in the aisle seat can’t tell the person in the window seat to lower the shades,” she stressed to CNN.
Andrew Henderson warns against such an approach.
“If you’re just going along and getting carried away and thinking, ‘This is my window, I’m going to close it if I want,’ then of course that’s how you’re going to start a fight,” he says.
If you have a window seat, please proceed with caution.
When it comes to armrests, Gottsman said middle seats are preferred.
“I always say the middle person has both armrests. You have a choice. Let’s do that,” she said, adding that middle seat occupants should be able to decide which side they want to lean on.
Samantha Brown said middle seat passengers will definitely be given both armrests. “You can get whatever you want in the middle seat.”
Speaking of armrests, Gottsman advises using them when stepping away from your seat, rather than grabbing the headrest of the person in front of you.
If someone is messing with your headrest, “my advice is if it’s just one time, leave them alone,” she said. But if you’re on a long flight and it happens a lot, you might say something like, “You probably haven’t noticed this, but when you pull back on the headrest, the whole seat shakes,” Gottsman suggested.
The issue of seat recline certainly cannot be solved here. To recline or not to recline is an important question for many travelers on both sides. But no matter which direction you lean, it’s important to behave with civility.
Are you leaning backwards? “If you’re going to roll your seat back, it’s important to first look behind you and see if someone’s knees are against the seat, if the tray table is lowered, and if there’s food (on the tray table),” Gottsman says.
Rich Henderson believes in reclining, but with a caveat.
“I think as a general principle people should be able to use their seats the way they are intended to be used,” he said, adding that it was “the right thing to do” to move seats forward during those times on flights that offer meal service.
become convenient
You don’t have to touch a flight attendant to get their attention, says Rich Henderson.
“It’s amazing how many times we get poked, prodded or grabbed in a day. It’s not an emergency situation to get our attention, but it happens when we need to do basic errands like taking out the trash, and it also happens when we’re talking to other passengers.”
Some of the worst bombings in recent years have involved alcohol. Passengers who have a few drinks at an airport bar and then a few more on the plane may not be the best seatmates or customers. Some end up with hefty fines.
“I think it’s important to drink in moderation,” Gottman says. “If you’re going to drink alcohol, that’s fine, but don’t drink too much.”
Be careful what you bring on the plane, as unpleasant odors cannot escape in small spaces. For example, think twice about fish or boiled eggs.
“Stinky food to me isn’t stinky food to others. So if you hear people complaining about your food, a plane might not be the best place to eat fish tacos,” said Andrew Henderson. “Or know you have fish tacos and apologize to the group around you that it’s good for you. ‘I’ll eat them as soon as I can.'”
Please take care of yourself at home. Don’t cut your nails on the way to grandma’s house. However, please be mindful of your personal hygiene before your flight. Passenger smells are a common complaint due to poor hygiene or too much perfume or cologne.
Gottsman advises passengers to choose shoes that are comfortable for the entire flight, even if their feet are swollen.
“It’s not a good idea to take off your shoes and take a little nap,” she said. “Napping is fine, but you should keep your shoes on. You also don’t want to walk up and down the plane barefoot or in socks, or going to the bathroom and back.”
Under no circumstances should you place your bare feet on someone else’s armrest. For Brown, it was “the most annoying passenger experience I’ve ever had.”
“I think it’s okay to immediately turn around and say, ‘Stop,’ but first you need to document it,” she said while showing CNN viewers a photo of the offending passenger’s bare feet (yes, both feet) and red toenails.
That also gave the other passenger’s partner time to say, “Oh, you should take your legs off. She’s taking pictures of them.”
What is the conclusion?
Rich Henderson said, “We could all do a little bit better, especially in a tight situation like this, to be kinder to each other.”
This previously published article was updated in 2025.
