In 2015, I packed my life in Austin, Texas and moved to Madrid. I was 35, but that wasn’t my first attempt. I spent over a decade trying to turn my Spanish home into a home, dreaming and unable to try.
Since then I have built my life in Spain, helping her hit refresh and move hundreds of other women abroad.
Along the way, I experienced moments when life in Europe felt like a film. Like encountering flamenco dancers in hidden squares, sipping wine in a Parisian cafe, while the world passes by, or past the Colosseum in Rome, on a Vespa.
But these moments aren’t everyday life, and everything about moving abroad isn’t exactly what you imagined. Here are six myths I have heard most frequently about relocation.
1. “Very cheap”
Many countries can feel more affordable than the US, but living abroad is probably not as cheap as you might think. Costs are rising all over the world. Especially the prices of the home. EU home prices rose 57.9% between the first quarter of 2010 and 2025, while rents rose 27.8%.
My advice: Run numbers based on today’s reality and not an outdated blog post. And what US salary feels affordable to you may still be out of hand for locals. Please don’t overpay. It only fuels the problem.
2. “Americans are not welcome.”
The real pressure comes from tourism, not the relatively few Americans moving abroad. And while there are anti-tourist sentiments in busy cities, it’s not really about Americans or foreigners. The bigger problem is affordable housing – or, like I said, it’s lacking.
However, small European towns want new residents because of depopulation. If you’re serious about consolidation, consider looking beyond hot spots like Lisbon, Barcelona, Amsterdam and more.
Anyway, in my own experience, when you learn, contribute and connect with the language, you are usually welcomed with an open weapon.
3. “You’ll be lonely.”
Of course, you miss family and friends, but overseas communities often form faster than you expect.
Other Americans and English-speaking foreigners want to connect. There is no shortage of opportunities to meet people between meetups, language exchanges and foreign events.
However, deep friendship takes time. I’m an extrovert and it still took me about 2.5 years to feel like I have a strong community in Madrid. Many of my closest friendships came from holding my own meetup.
For deeper integration, friendships with local people are important, but they are definitely difficult to form. Many locals already have tight circles and need patience and tenacity to break in. Learning a language is essential and takes time. Most people are still new to one year later.
4. “Life abroad is perfect”
Living abroad will help you completely improve your quality of life. Whether it’s a slow pace, a relatively low cost of living, or a simple trip, there’s a lot to love. But it’s not a fairy tale.
Finding an apartment, setting up a bank account, appointing a doctor, and still dealing with bureaucracy, taxes and logistics. And sometimes grocery stores close on Sundays when they need it most.
The most difficult tasks are often personal. When I received a call about my father’s passing, I would never forget it. In 2009, I earned my Masters degree from one of my previous stints in Spain. I then learned that the highest and lowest of life is still happening abroad, and that when you are far from home, it is even tougher.
5. “The place you start is where you have to stay.”
Your first move abroad doesn’t have to be your eternal home. Think of it as a starting point, not a lifelong commitment. As someone once told me, it’s not marriage, it’s a movement.
When I moved to Madrid in 2015, I thought I would never leave. However, in 2020 I moved to Malaga and now I am considering returning to Madrid again.
I’ve seen this with others too. Cindy Siahan, for example, moved to Porto, Portugal, but later decided that Italy was a better fit and moved there a year later.
Giving permission to PIVOT will help you avoid attempting to make the “perfect” choice before starting your research. There are many things you just don’t know until you actually move around.
6. “It’s too late for me.”
I was 35 when I moved and thought I was already too old. At the time I knew that students and retirees were moving overseas. But at 45, I can say without hesitation that this is the best decision I’ve ever made.
And once I got here I met many people older than my age who did the same thing. People make leaps at all ages, from their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 70s.
In fact, there are benefits to traveling in your 30s and above. Because people tend to arrive with more financial stability, better self-awareness, and wisdom to navigate challenges from a perspective.
Cepee Tabibian is the founder of She Hit Refresh, a community and resource platform that helps women over the age of 30 move abroad. She is the author of “I’m Outta Here! American’s Ultimate Visa Guide for Europe in Europe” and is the host of her Hot Hit Refresh Podcast. As the daughter of Colombians and Iranian immigrants, Sepee grew up in Houston, Texas, before immigrating in Spain. Follow her @shehitrefresh for tips and real stories on how to move abroad
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