My wife and I recently celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, I asked couples who have been married for 40, 50, and even 60 years a simple question. “What advice would you give your younger self about relationships?”
Participants ranged from a couple in their mid-60s who had just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary to a 99-year-old couple who had just celebrated 66 years of happiness with their bride. This advice encapsulates the wisdom gleaned from over 500 years of these beautiful relationships.
Here are 25 pieces of relationship advice everyone should hear.
Tell your partner you love them every night before you go to sleep. One day you’ll notice that the other side of the bed is empty and wish it were. Never keep score in love. Scoreboards are for sports games, not marriages. Laugh until you cry. Laughing together can go a long way in easing the inevitable hardships along the way. Keep your interests and passions separate from your partner. Marriage should not be the end of individuality. It’s not always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 90/10. Sometimes it’s 10/90. All that matters is that it adds up to 100. One man said, “Never stop dating. I’m 99 years old and I’m still courting my wife!” Marriage is never boring. You stop trying. Keep doing the small things. A note under the pillow, a surprise bouquet of flowers, a peck on the cheek. Romance never goes out of style. Don’t be afraid of sadness, because sadness tends to be right next to love. No one has ever claimed the path to a happy marriage. When we face difficulties, let’s face them together. Spouse should always come before biological family. Remember this when you feel like the two of you are at odds. What’s more important, being right or being married? Stubborn pride destroys relationships. Never raise your voice at your partner. Say “I’m sorry” right away. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If something bothers you, ask if it will be an issue within a month. If not, let it go now. Perform one act of service for your partner each day, but never tell them about it. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your partner. Make a list of the things you need to do every day to feel better and ask your partner to do the same. Make sure you and your partner can do the things on that list. Never involve non-expert third parties (parents, friends, siblings, co-workers) in disagreements. You will forget it, but they will not. Time doesn’t fix things when it comes to relationships. Don’t put off having difficult conversations. If there are small problems in your relationship, repair them. Small problems become big problems over time. All relationships are ongoing. A desire for mutual improvement creates lifelong bonds. Complementarity is just as important as compatibility. Give each other space to lead within different areas of your relationship. Every day starts with a hug or a kiss. It’s a simple reminder of your love that has come a long way. Love is a muscle. Your love will be tested, but know that each test has the potential to make your love even stronger. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be great. No relationship was perfect, but there were many great ones. your love is yours. Forget about other people’s approval. You can’t make everyone happy. Let’s accept it and embrace it.
In a separate, but related series of conversations, I asked a 94-year-old woman what advice she would give her younger self.
She shared this beautiful insight. “When in doubt, love. The world could always use more love.”
Sahil Bloom is an entrepreneur, investor, and inspirational writer and content creator behind the biweekly newsletter, The Curiosity Chronicle. He is the author of The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life. Follow him on Instagram, X, LinkedIn, and YouTube.
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