Every time Michelle Harris leaves her Montmartre apartment and heads around the corner to the small courtyard, she has no idea how long her errand will take.
“Especially in the summer, there are times when I’m gone for two minutes or even an hour,” Harris, who is from Virginia, told CNN Travel, explaining that it’s nearly impossible to say “hello” to neighbors when they stop you.
“French people are very charming… if they stop you, they will talk to you. They are interested in what you are doing, even taking out the trash.”
Harris, who moved permanently to Paris in 2020, said she feels “very accepted” and “very well looked after” by the local community.
She describes Montmartre, in the city’s 18th arrondissement, as having a “village-like environment” and particularly enjoys spending time at a neighborhood bar called Chez Amado, which has hosted the likes of French singer Edith Piaf.
“I know everyone who works there, so I’m like, ‘Cheers…'” she says of the American sitcom set in a Boston bar. “I’m never alone. It’s a very interesting life.”
I felt rootless and sad for a long time, but now I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Harris never intended to live in Paris. She arrived there “almost by chance” several years after seeing a vision of herself there during a spiritual experience during a trip to Peru.
Before embarking on a life-changing journey, she was focused on a career in the pharmaceutical industry, moving to cities such as St. Louis for work before settling in New York.
After experiencing “three consecutive personal losses,” including the unexpected death of her father and the loss of her longtime job, Harris began reevaluating her life.
“It was kind of a lesson that you can’t control anything,” she says. “No matter what you do, it can slip through your fingers.”
She secured a new role and tried to move on, but something changed.
“We realized there was no way we could undo all of this,” Harris added. “And I looked at my situation and said, ‘I’m going to blow everything up. I’m going to do something completely different.'”
Her idea to get out of the situation was to quit her “hard job,” sell her apartment, buy a one-way ticket to Asia, and “just start sailing.”
In January 2016, she headed to Japan and then continued her journey “south across Asia” before continuing to Australia, South Africa and Europe.
She was still grieving and began experimenting with new ways to cope with it.
Harris decided to try Ayahuasca, also known as “Yage.” It is a mind-altering concoction taken in the Amazon jungle, illegal in the United States, and reported to have beneficial effects on conditions such as depression and anxiety.
“I felt like I had done everything I was supposed to do,” she says. “The world is a beautiful and magical place, but I was looking for something more experiential.”
She visited Peru in 2017 and traveled to the Amazon, where a shaman guided her through meditation as part of a ritual.
Harris said she had visions of her father, which helped her come to terms with his death, and now “not only can I start crying, but I can talk about my father.”
“I was able to put my sadness aside,” she added. “And it was incredible.”
She says she also saw another vision. What struck me was a photo of herself living in Paris.
At the time, Harris didn’t believe this would be her destiny. She studied Spanish in high school, but always struggled with French.
“I couldn’t pronounce anything. I couldn’t understand the vowels…I thought it was unlikely that I would live there,” she said, recalling how her ex-boyfriend was embarrassed by her French during a visit many years ago.
“But I would be disappointed if it didn’t happen.”
Buoyed by her “newfound spirituality,” Harris continued on her journey, returning regularly to see loved ones and realizing that she no longer “felt bound” to the United States.
She bought a small apartment in Manhattan to “come back to and call home” and continued to explore the world.
While traveling in Europe in 2017, she decided to make Paris her “base”.
She began dating men in the city and “started building a life there,” enrolling in French classes and immersing herself in daily life.
During this time, she “looked at Paris differently” and felt increasingly at home.
After that relationship ended, Harris fell in love with another man in Paris and later entered into a contractual civil union known as the French Civil Solidarity Agreement (PACS).
That marriage ended, but despite her “heartbreak”, she realized that life in the city was for her and wanted to stay here.
“It was like being involved in a relationship that wasn’t working out,” she added.
She felt that her personality had changed there, and joked that she lived in a “mild state of disarray”, unlike in New York, where she felt like a “boss”.
“I had a friend visit me, and he said, “You speak French differently…”” she recalls. “‘Your voice is higher and sweeter.'”
Harris says her relationship with language is evolving.
She jokes in French that she “abuses the French every day”, but she still endures.
Otherwise, she adapted easily, embracing the habit of slowing down with meals and “serious but pleasant conversations.”
“I love my French friends, but one of them said to me, ‘If you go to a party and don’t get into an argument three times, it wasn’t a good party,’ and that’s true,” she added.
For Harris, one of the biggest differences between life in France and the United States is the belief in individual rights, which she sees as deeply rooted in the country’s history.
She points out that unlike the “ubiquitous doorbell cameras in the United States,” “video surveillance of neighbors” is regulated by law in France.
“The liberal ideology is refreshing…” she said, adding that while living in Paris, she “started to feel different” about her rights.
Harris believes the cost of living in Paris is more affordable than New York, but admits that “so many people come to Paris and think, ‘Wow, it’s so expensive.'”
In 2022, she bought an apartment in Montmartre for just over 300,000 euros, or about $350,000, and then spent another 90,000 euros on renovations.
She describes the area as a “melting pot” and enjoys living with people from different cultures and nationalities.
“I want to see people who don’t look like me, people who don’t talk like me, people who don’t do the same things that I do…” she said, noting that this is also what she values about New York. “You can see that in Paris.”
Although Harris considers New York “extraordinarily expensive these days,” she says she still loves the city and continues to live in her Manhattan apartment.
Although she regularly returns to the United States to visit family and friends, she has “no desire to return at all.”
Harris, who wrote the book Lovers and Boyfriends about her experiences in the City of Love, previously had a long-term visa, but last year switched to a Plurienne El Titre de Séjour artist visa, or “passport talent” visa.
Looking back on her journey, Harris says she always asked herself, “Am I where I’m supposed to be?” In Paris, the answer is yes.
“I don’t think I could live anywhere else…” she says, admitting that London is probably a possibility, but she’s very happy where she is.
“Where are you going after New York and Paris?”
