Tracee Ellis Ross has a wealth of experience when it comes to knowing what it takes to be successful.
Ross, 53, is an award-winning actress and co-CEO of Pattern Beauty, a hair care company she founded in 2019. She recently spoke with Emma Greed, co-founder and CEO of Good American and host of the podcast Aspire, in an episode titled “Be the CEO of Your Life.”
During our hour-long conversation, Ross offered a glimpse into his journey to start his own business and the tools he used to find his true purpose.
“People talk about how to get what they want. I think it’s more important to learn who you are,” she said. “The world around you is built from it.”
By taking charge of your own life, Ross says, you can experience true fulfillment.
Become the CEO of your own life with these three tools
1. Assess the scope of your dreams
Ross grew up watching how his mother, award-winning entertainer Diana Ross, balanced her career and personal life. Tracy said she never missed breakfast with her children and recorded music at night when they were asleep.
She explained that Ross showed her early on that having big dreams requires equal or even greater effort to maintain them.
“People always tell me to dream big, but what I learned as a kid is that you can dream big but know that you are the one to make it happen,” Ross said.
“Dream at a pace that allows you to actually sustain what it takes to get there.”
2. Diary to find your purpose
To better understand what brings you joy and energizes you, Ross suggests keeping a journal and doing some self-reflection.
Ask yourself the following questions every day for a week or two.
How was your day today? Did you praise yourself? What went well? What didn’t go well? What made you feel scared today? What do you have a grudge against, and what are you grateful for?
“Then I go over it again with a pen and highlighter,” says Ross. Circle the most important words or themes and place them on a separate piece of paper.
“From there, see if you can start asking yourself, ‘What are the feelings I want out of life, and can the things already in my life give me those feelings?'” Ross said.
“‘Is there a job that can be built from this? Is there a life that can be built from this? Is there a company that can be built from this?’
3. Learn to accept when you hear the word “no.”
Even if you discover your purpose or come up with a great idea, you may face rejection in the pursuit of it all. For example, it took 10 years for Ross to market her pattern beauty products before they hit store shelves, she said.
“I learned the process of no, and it has served me well throughout my life, especially as a business builder,” Ross said.
“What I learned is no, accept it, have feelings, be disappointed,” she said. “And once the emotions subside and you can actually accept it and learn from it, ask yourself some questions.”
The main questions to ask yourself after getting rejected are:
Is your idea not as strong as you thought? If your idea is strong, why did the other person say no? Are you looking for the wrong person or company to help you realize your vision? Did you express your ideas in the clearest and most effective way?
“Each time I answer these questions, I understand more. So each ‘no’ brings me closer,” Ross said.
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