In the blur of adult life, it’s surprisingly easy to lose touch with people.
When I was younger, I felt comfortable stopping by a friend’s house to say hello and see how they were doing. There is no plan, no pressure, no reason. In fact, not knowing the outcome was part of the fun.
However, as life has gotten busier, I have noticed that there is often a small hesitation in my heart when I want to reach out to someone. I don’t want to interrupt…it’s too long…I have something important to talk about…so I instead decide to continue my day, feeling nostalgic for someone, feeling a fleeting connection, and letting the moment pass.
That wasn’t right. And after a few false starts, I’ve arrived at an approach that removes almost all of that friction.
Tell someone you’re thinking of them
I regularly send out the following 10 word messages: “I thought of you so I wanted to say hello.”
Just a simple sentence, that’s all. No explanation. There are no requests. No expectations. It’s a small signal that says, “You are important to me.” (If you’re feeling inspired, like I always do, add an emoji or two.)
You can send this to just about anyone in your life, past or present, including friends, colleagues, mentors, and loved ones. Simple, unsophisticated, and almost unnervingly small. Even better, it always lands.
This message works because it doesn’t ask for anything. There’s no built-in obligation, no implicit follow-up, no pressure to be intimate or respond meaningfully. They have complete freedom to respond immediately, later, or not at all. Doing so creates a sense of emotional safety that many messages unintentionally lack.
It’s important to send simple messages
In a world that feels increasingly transactional and rushed, being remembered is surprisingly powerful.
We are experiencing a quiet but profound decline in the way people experience and maintain connections, what some researchers have begun to call the “friendship recession.” According to a 2025 Pew Research Center study, 20% of 30-49 year olds report feeling lonely or isolated all or most of the time, and 24% of 18-29 year olds report feeling the same way.
According to Gallup’s State of the World Workplace Report, as many as 20% of employees report feeling lonely on a daily basis, and employee loneliness is on the rise. The same goes for 22% of remote workers and 25% of workers under 35.
Given this background, it’s important to send a simple message to someone you care about. Being thought of, being connected to something, that alone has meaning.
“I’m sure we’ll land”
I don’t remember the first time I intentionally sent this message, but I do remember realizing how much people appreciated it.
Sometimes you’ll receive a response right away, sometimes after a few hours or days. Some people are quiet (“Thank you for contacting me!”) and others are passionate (“I’m so happy to hear from you!”).
What struck me was not only the warmth of the responses, but also how serendipitous the timing sometimes felt. More than once someone has told me they were just thinking of me. Or maybe you were having a particularly rough day. Or maybe I was in their dreams recently. To me, this highlights that even if we’re not in touch, we’re much more connected than we think.
In some cases, the conversation may naturally end there. But more often than not, they turn into text conversations, phone calls, or in-person coffees or lunches that add momentum and connection to my day.
give it a try
Over the years, I’ve shared this practice with others and often hear similar concerns. “Wouldn’t that make you feel awkward?” What if they don’t respond? What if it seems random?
What I have come to feel comfortable with is that the discomfort is on my end (the sender) and that it is very brief. Once an unsolicited message is sent, it is unlikely to be bothersome. And even if someone does not respond, it does not negate the kindness of the gesture. The message still worked.
So who crossed your mind? Send us a quick message. No other reason is needed.
Sarah Sutton is the founder of Liveand.Love, a platform built on the idea that small actions can meaningfully shape how we spend our days and our relationships. She previously founded FlexJobs, Remote.co and JobDirect and is widely known for her work advancing remote and flexible work. Her insights have been featured on the BBC, Wall Street Journal, CNN, and Forbes.
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