In her latest book, Love by Design, social psychologist Sara Nasserzadeh explains that there are six ingredients that romantic relationships need to last and flourish.
These ingredients contain compassion, trust, and shared vision and must exist to give you the opportunity to “survive” relationships. “Of course it will flourish.”
Respect is both an important and fundamental element, says Nasserzadeh. It helps to build the foundation for how each partner works.
In fact, a lack of respect in a relationship is a huge red flag. In the long run, “we can defeat the whole self-esteem and self-consciousness of others,” says Nasserzadeh.
Disrespectful partners stop “looking at your priorities”
Disrespect can manifest in romantic relationships in many ways.
Maybe a couple goes out to eat and even if their partner hasn’t gotten food, one person starts eating as soon as the meal arrives. Or, a couple is walking together, but one person is 10 steps ahead of the other.
Disrespect can also be manifested in a larger way. For example, your partner can “stop looking at your priorities,” says Nasserzadeh. What matters to you doesn’t matter to them. If they make a commitment to appear somewhere, she says, “They’re wandering around that commitment,” for example.
Your partner can also underestimate your identity. If you identify with a particular gender, social class, or other group, they may subdue or devalue who you are.
We are concerned as we can see.
Sarah Nasserzade
Author, speaker
All of these behaviors indicate a lack of recognition, recognition and caring for one side of the couple.
If you think this is happening in your relationship, Nasserzadeh suggests you have a conversation with your partner. “(Please say) ‘Hey, you know, I’ve observed these things, where is it coming from?” she says. “And sometimes the person can change and learn, and sometimes, no.”
When we seek relationships, we often look for someone who understands and accepts us. Ultimately, “We get caught up in relationships,” says Nasserzadeh. If your relationship doesn’t provide a sense of understanding and value, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth continuing.
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