Julia Roberts is an Academy Award-winning actress, but she struggled to overcome harsh criticism early in her career.
“I don’t think I went into my career with a lot of confidence,” Roberts told People magazine in a recent interview.
Roberts, who broke out as an actress in films such as “Steel Magnolias” and “Pretty Woman,” said she encountered “really cruel critical people” in her early 20s.
“Lack of confidence can be crippling. So if someone embarrassed me, that stopped me,” she recalls. “I had a stroke, so I was learning how to work through it, because this is not an industry you can be in if you can’t stand criticism or harsh words or embarrassment.”
Instead of feeling discouraged, Roberts decided to view the situation as “an interesting challenge to decide who I want to be,” she told People magazine.
Although she describes her experience as a young actress as “more ups and downs than smooth sailing,” she now sees past hurdles as opportunities for growth.
“I thought, ‘Well, there’s a reason it has to be this hard,’ and now I think that’s some of the lessons I’m most grateful for because it proved my perseverance,” she said.
“There were a lot of things I had to overcome for myself,” Roberts continued.
deal with criticism at work
Building resilience is “particularly important for young women starting their careers” in any industry, says career and leadership coach Phoebe Gavin.
“We have a lot of cultural conditioning that makes us very critical of ourselves and very anxious about being observed and judged,” says Gavin. “All of these things can cause a lot of anxiety when we enter the workplace.”
No matter how confident you are in yourself, she says, receiving harsh criticism can break you down.
If your confidence is being eroded by unpleasant feedback, Gavin says the most important thing to remember is to “put some distance between yourself and the criticism.”
“When you hear people say things that are critical, mean, or cruel, remember that it’s about that person and it’s a reflection of who they are. It’s not necessarily a reflection of who you are,” she says.
Instead of internalizing the mean words of others, “think out loud to yourself about what makes you valuable and what you bring to the table,” Gavin says.
According to Gavin, there may be a “kernel of truth” in the criticism. “Sometimes useful feedback comes in a very ugly package,” she says.
If so, Gavin recommends taking some time to reflect on your actions and what you can change in the future.
“Rather than internalizing it as something that will forever be true about you, find a place where you can exercise agency to make positive changes in yourself and the way you work,” she says.
Still, if your workplace is having a negative impact on your mental health, Gavin says, “it’s okay to decide for yourself that being in that environment is not right for you.”
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